It's been a while since I have blogged. There are so many things that have been going on not only in my world, but the world in general. Each microcosm that makes up my existence is teeming with activity, and, to be quite honest, I don't really know what to make of things.
Let's see where we can begin. Well, on the homefront, I'm doing my best to juggle in this jungle. It seems I'm alwyas ripping and running, but I guess that's part of being a real adult, huh? My son is growing up so fast, emerging into a pre-adolescent right before my eyes! I still remember my "preggo" days, trying to rub the right side of my belly to shift his behind to the center so I wouldn't look like the crooked pregnant lady! Seeing him grow and absorb all that is going on around him challenges me to be a better person, which is a good thing right? There are times, however, when I know I can do better but don't, and I have to find an alternative to beating myself up about it.
On the workfront, it's strange going into a job that you've had for the past seven years and wondering who will get the axe. That's a wreck! I guess this is how my parents felt during the Regan years. I remember standing in the unemployment line with my mother. Everyone seemed so depressed and downtroddened. I guess people feel the same way now, but instead of being depressed in line collecting a fraction of what they once earned, they are depressed when they are calling their unemployment compensation in over the phone or typing it in over the Internet...such modern times, right? However, as we are witness to CHANGE (I love Obama!) we are to remain optimistic and hopeful for what the future brings.
In my community, things are pretty crazy. The slaying of police officers in Philadelphia has become national news, and it's pretty embarassing. I am very proud to have been born and raised in Philadelphia, although I am not so proud at the choices that some of my brothers and sisters make on a daily basis. There is no easy way to do anything in this life. You pay on the front end or you pay on the back end, and that's just how it goes. Individuals who think they can get around the laws of the universe are not only sadly mistakened, but just plain ol' SAD. Pray for my people, please?
In terms of embracing my newfound Patriotism, it takes some getting used to. As an African-American child born in the 70's and raised by near-revolutionaries, you are told to be skeptical of America and her offerings. "Send me your poor, tired, and weary," and then what will you do with those people. Up until this point (and every now and again EVEN STILL), Black asses are kicked on a regular basis in the U.S. of A. Growing up, we didn't sing America the Beautiful or God Bless America with glee. As we see that there may be an opportunity for us to be judged by the content of our character and not the color of our skin, I am optimistic about what the future holds. I have never been one to expect handouts or favors, so I do realize that what I put in to anything is what I will get out of it, and that's all right with me.
I'm going to earnestly try to blog more. Everytime I watch the news, read TIME magazine or check my Smoking Gun emails, I'm tempting to blog a little. I think I am going to commit to do just that.
Peace and Blessings to those who have taken in thsi piece/peace of my mind.
Rae
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Eve of Change
How does one feel on the eve of CHANGE?
OVERWHELMED! I would so love to put in words the abundance of emotions I am experiencing at this time. Having an African-American as President has always been almost a joke of some sort, not a funny one, but a joke nonetheless. I recall several movies where African-Americans were depicted as President-Morgan Freeman and Tiny "Zeus/Deboe" Lester come to mind. As an African-American, I don't even think that I realistically expected American to elect "one of us" as President. There is just too much prejudice, fear, racism, and discrimination that still exists for my fellow Americans to make such a choice. That was always my feeling on the matter, and then comes Obama...
This man is so intelligent, so unflappable, so brilliant, so friggin' cool that it's absolutely undeniable! He says what we want to hear. He says what we need to hear. He says what we don't want to hear, and we accept it, for we know that he has the country's best interest in mind. I have watched and admired him since he took center stage at the Democratic National Convention some years ago. His poignant speech, rhythmic voice, and powerful message shook me to my core at that time. There were talks of a possible Presidential bid at that time, and I was certainly all for it.
To be quite honest, I was excited when Jesse Jackson ran for President when I was a little girl. I wore a green and white button on my coat every day that said, "Run, Jesse, Run". I was even excited when Al Sharpton threw his hat in the ring some years later. I was pleased and proud at his performance at a major televised debate where he brought the plight of African-Americans to CNN, raw and uncut. I appreciated him for that. It was needed. He didn't say what he needed to say to get on the ticket, but he spoke about us honestly and unapologetically, and Iliked that.
And then here comes Obama...
Cool as a fan on high, this man empowers you to feel that you are responsible for change...YOU are the only one who can make change occur. This is a hefty charge, but Obama reminds us that it is possible and that we should assume some responsibility for our situations. The more we put into our communities, schools, economy, etc. the more we can get out of it. And, I am so up for this charge.
Tonight, my prayers will be for a better me, a better family, a better community, a better country, a better world, a better today, a better tomorrow. I will pray for the well-being of a nation torn apart by things that don't seem to matter so much right now because I truly believe that we can make change occur.
Let us get behind Obama, be responsible, be proactive and not reactive, be encouraged and not discouraged, let us be optimistic and not pessimistic. let us pray and not curse, let us work and not rest...let us be the agents of change I know we are fully capable of being.
Peace, Balance, and Blessings,
Sheronda-Rae
OVERWHELMED! I would so love to put in words the abundance of emotions I am experiencing at this time. Having an African-American as President has always been almost a joke of some sort, not a funny one, but a joke nonetheless. I recall several movies where African-Americans were depicted as President-Morgan Freeman and Tiny "Zeus/Deboe" Lester come to mind. As an African-American, I don't even think that I realistically expected American to elect "one of us" as President. There is just too much prejudice, fear, racism, and discrimination that still exists for my fellow Americans to make such a choice. That was always my feeling on the matter, and then comes Obama...
This man is so intelligent, so unflappable, so brilliant, so friggin' cool that it's absolutely undeniable! He says what we want to hear. He says what we need to hear. He says what we don't want to hear, and we accept it, for we know that he has the country's best interest in mind. I have watched and admired him since he took center stage at the Democratic National Convention some years ago. His poignant speech, rhythmic voice, and powerful message shook me to my core at that time. There were talks of a possible Presidential bid at that time, and I was certainly all for it.
To be quite honest, I was excited when Jesse Jackson ran for President when I was a little girl. I wore a green and white button on my coat every day that said, "Run, Jesse, Run". I was even excited when Al Sharpton threw his hat in the ring some years later. I was pleased and proud at his performance at a major televised debate where he brought the plight of African-Americans to CNN, raw and uncut. I appreciated him for that. It was needed. He didn't say what he needed to say to get on the ticket, but he spoke about us honestly and unapologetically, and Iliked that.
And then here comes Obama...
Cool as a fan on high, this man empowers you to feel that you are responsible for change...YOU are the only one who can make change occur. This is a hefty charge, but Obama reminds us that it is possible and that we should assume some responsibility for our situations. The more we put into our communities, schools, economy, etc. the more we can get out of it. And, I am so up for this charge.
Tonight, my prayers will be for a better me, a better family, a better community, a better country, a better world, a better today, a better tomorrow. I will pray for the well-being of a nation torn apart by things that don't seem to matter so much right now because I truly believe that we can make change occur.
Let us get behind Obama, be responsible, be proactive and not reactive, be encouraged and not discouraged, let us be optimistic and not pessimistic. let us pray and not curse, let us work and not rest...let us be the agents of change I know we are fully capable of being.
Peace, Balance, and Blessings,
Sheronda-Rae
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Friends
Recently, a good friend of mine, had an unfortunate incident occur which really tested her relationship with one of her very best and oldest friends. In an effort not to fully disclose the details of the event, I will just say that my good friend (let's call her Jill for the sake of clarity) really needed her friend (referred to as Mary) to step in and prevent her from making a horrible mistake. Instead, Mary didn't help Jill who was in dire need of help, and Jill made a life-changing, devastating mistake...
Jill is very upset because she felt as her friend should have been there for her, but wasn't. When she called to ask me how I felt about the situation, I told her that I do believe that friends have a responsility to one another. The trick is being clear on exactly what these responsibilities entail.
I have had many friends in my lifetime. I have also had many good, good friends, or BFF's as they are referred to these days. My responsiblity to them was, is, and will always be to always have their best interest in mind. There is self-sacrifice involved with a true friendship. You find yourself caring for another person wholeheartedly. In true friendship, the sacrifice you make often go unnoticed, for that is just a part of the friendship, right?
When I was married (I have been divorced for about 6 or 7 years...I can never remember to be fully honest) my husband and I had friends. Some of them I lost in the settlement; I guess they found it too difficult to be Switzerland between two factors that were definitley in all-out war at the time. That really hurt me because I loved them and I thought we were to be friends for the long-haul. It was during this time that I realized that in order to see where someone is coming from, you have to know what your friendship means to them. They didn't see me as a lifelong friend...just a temporary one, or a friend as long as I was married...I really can't say...
What I can say is that I continue to have many friends and these relationships mean many different things to me. I am thankful for my social circle. I have learned that my friends are not all perfect, have individual skill sets, and can always be expected to be themselves.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, and I had hope to provide some type of profound conclusion, but I can't, so I will just end it here...
I'm working on a blog called "Discovery and Recovery"...look for it soon.
Peace and Balance,
SherondaRae
Jill is very upset because she felt as her friend should have been there for her, but wasn't. When she called to ask me how I felt about the situation, I told her that I do believe that friends have a responsility to one another. The trick is being clear on exactly what these responsibilities entail.
I have had many friends in my lifetime. I have also had many good, good friends, or BFF's as they are referred to these days. My responsiblity to them was, is, and will always be to always have their best interest in mind. There is self-sacrifice involved with a true friendship. You find yourself caring for another person wholeheartedly. In true friendship, the sacrifice you make often go unnoticed, for that is just a part of the friendship, right?
When I was married (I have been divorced for about 6 or 7 years...I can never remember to be fully honest) my husband and I had friends. Some of them I lost in the settlement; I guess they found it too difficult to be Switzerland between two factors that were definitley in all-out war at the time. That really hurt me because I loved them and I thought we were to be friends for the long-haul. It was during this time that I realized that in order to see where someone is coming from, you have to know what your friendship means to them. They didn't see me as a lifelong friend...just a temporary one, or a friend as long as I was married...I really can't say...
What I can say is that I continue to have many friends and these relationships mean many different things to me. I am thankful for my social circle. I have learned that my friends are not all perfect, have individual skill sets, and can always be expected to be themselves.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, and I had hope to provide some type of profound conclusion, but I can't, so I will just end it here...
I'm working on a blog called "Discovery and Recovery"...look for it soon.
Peace and Balance,
SherondaRae
Monday, December 29, 2008
Reflecting on 2008
2008...Ahhh...a very good year?
In many aspects, I can say that 2008 was a pretty good year for me. There were many highs and lows, but they seem to balance themselves out all adding up to a decent 365 days.
LOWS
I figured we would get the bad stuff out of the way so the lasting thoughts will be good ones...
I lost a few friends this year. This was very difficult for me because these friends provided the foundation of my uncomfortable comfort zone. An uncomfortable comfort zone is a state of being that you are very familiar with, but don't necessarily need to be a part of. I was doing what I knew to do, whether good, bad, or indifferent. These folks were great friends indeed, but I wasn't allowed to grow in a positive direction. I stayed stagnant. I can't blame anyone on my stagnation. However, no hopes, dreams, and plans were discussed. No one ever spoke about going to the next level. Now, I could have easily been the one to spark the conversation, but my voice would have been but a small one amidst the clatter of talk of negative things. Some B.S. happened and I took the easy way out of some situations that I should have been out of. I have to admit, there are things that I did wrong in the situation. For these things I am certainly apologetic to an extent. I have no problem owning up to my wrong doings. I have a problem with people not owning up to theirs.
I hit a plateau this year. I can't say that I did anything spectacular. Now, some might view everything I do as spectacular, because I can be considered successful in many regards. However, I did nothing to the full extent of my potential. I know that I can do so much better than I did, but I didn't. It would be great if I had someone to blame for this, but I don't, so I can't and won't.
I spent too much money this year. I just spent and spent and spent as if there was no recession and pending depression. Who the hell did I think I was? I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I spent when there was nothing left to spend. I spent money with a negative balance. Trifling, right?
I waited long to forgive folks this year. I can say that I've been a little sadistic in this department. Withholding forgiveness is a form of torture, and I certainly used this tactic. It wasn't a pleasurable experience at all. I just got tired of always turning the other cheek to folk. Instead of the right or left cheek, I turned both my butt cheeks, and that was just down right mean. For this, I am ashamed...a little bit anyway...
HIGHS
I voted for a President that won! I was in Obama's camp before the camp was set up. I had a feeling about this guy, and I followed him all the way to victory. I believed in him and I still do. I am inspired by him, and I will have lots to say about our dear President-Elect throughout my future blogs.
I got closer to my family this year. This is a big one for me. I love each and every family member that I have. I can't relate to all of them, but I love them just the same. I rekindled some relationships, worked on relationships that were strained, and practiced more patience with my kin. I suspect that the upcoming year will see many of these relationships blossom, and I look forward to this occurrence.
I honored my mother and father this year. Now, this is something that I've always done. I love my parents dearly and would not be the person I am today if it were not for them. I did not once take for granted what they do for me, and I expressed my love and gratitude for them any chance that I could.
I accepted a marriage proposal this year. More about this at another time.
I loved myself more this year. This is something that I had to wait 35 to learn how to do. I had the dreaded "disease to please". I thought about others before I thought about myself. I would give you my last even if I needed it. I would be available to others before I was available to myself, and I'm not doing this anymore. I will continue to be loving, humble, and giving, but I have to take care of me before I take care of others.
I stopped being so evil this year. My sour disposition was somewhat of a outward reflection of what I was feeling inside. When I started to feel better, but disposition changed, and I am very proud of this. Folks around me have even been telling me what a pleasure I am to be around-I haven't heard that in a while.
These are just a few of my reflections of the previous year. There are more, but I'm just so excited to move on that I want to talk about 2009 already!
In 2008, I did what I knew best to do. In 2009, I will know better so I will do better.
Peace, Balance, and Prosperity to All,
SherondaRae
In many aspects, I can say that 2008 was a pretty good year for me. There were many highs and lows, but they seem to balance themselves out all adding up to a decent 365 days.
LOWS
I figured we would get the bad stuff out of the way so the lasting thoughts will be good ones...
I lost a few friends this year. This was very difficult for me because these friends provided the foundation of my uncomfortable comfort zone. An uncomfortable comfort zone is a state of being that you are very familiar with, but don't necessarily need to be a part of. I was doing what I knew to do, whether good, bad, or indifferent. These folks were great friends indeed, but I wasn't allowed to grow in a positive direction. I stayed stagnant. I can't blame anyone on my stagnation. However, no hopes, dreams, and plans were discussed. No one ever spoke about going to the next level. Now, I could have easily been the one to spark the conversation, but my voice would have been but a small one amidst the clatter of talk of negative things. Some B.S. happened and I took the easy way out of some situations that I should have been out of. I have to admit, there are things that I did wrong in the situation. For these things I am certainly apologetic to an extent. I have no problem owning up to my wrong doings. I have a problem with people not owning up to theirs.
I hit a plateau this year. I can't say that I did anything spectacular. Now, some might view everything I do as spectacular, because I can be considered successful in many regards. However, I did nothing to the full extent of my potential. I know that I can do so much better than I did, but I didn't. It would be great if I had someone to blame for this, but I don't, so I can't and won't.
I spent too much money this year. I just spent and spent and spent as if there was no recession and pending depression. Who the hell did I think I was? I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I spent when there was nothing left to spend. I spent money with a negative balance. Trifling, right?
I waited long to forgive folks this year. I can say that I've been a little sadistic in this department. Withholding forgiveness is a form of torture, and I certainly used this tactic. It wasn't a pleasurable experience at all. I just got tired of always turning the other cheek to folk. Instead of the right or left cheek, I turned both my butt cheeks, and that was just down right mean. For this, I am ashamed...a little bit anyway...
HIGHS
I voted for a President that won! I was in Obama's camp before the camp was set up. I had a feeling about this guy, and I followed him all the way to victory. I believed in him and I still do. I am inspired by him, and I will have lots to say about our dear President-Elect throughout my future blogs.
I got closer to my family this year. This is a big one for me. I love each and every family member that I have. I can't relate to all of them, but I love them just the same. I rekindled some relationships, worked on relationships that were strained, and practiced more patience with my kin. I suspect that the upcoming year will see many of these relationships blossom, and I look forward to this occurrence.
I honored my mother and father this year. Now, this is something that I've always done. I love my parents dearly and would not be the person I am today if it were not for them. I did not once take for granted what they do for me, and I expressed my love and gratitude for them any chance that I could.
I accepted a marriage proposal this year. More about this at another time.
I loved myself more this year. This is something that I had to wait 35 to learn how to do. I had the dreaded "disease to please". I thought about others before I thought about myself. I would give you my last even if I needed it. I would be available to others before I was available to myself, and I'm not doing this anymore. I will continue to be loving, humble, and giving, but I have to take care of me before I take care of others.
I stopped being so evil this year. My sour disposition was somewhat of a outward reflection of what I was feeling inside. When I started to feel better, but disposition changed, and I am very proud of this. Folks around me have even been telling me what a pleasure I am to be around-I haven't heard that in a while.
These are just a few of my reflections of the previous year. There are more, but I'm just so excited to move on that I want to talk about 2009 already!
In 2008, I did what I knew best to do. In 2009, I will know better so I will do better.
Peace, Balance, and Prosperity to All,
SherondaRae
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